


Like You Wanna Be Loved

by Mrs_Witter



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-19 06:46:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/880679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Witter/pseuds/Mrs_Witter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Oliver and Felicity kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One, Two, Three

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine. Title from Ed Sheeran’s “Kiss Me”.  
> Pairing/Character: Oliver/Felicity  
> Rating: R.  
> Summary: Five times Oliver and Felicity kiss.  
> Spoilers: Set after Season One.

i.

The first time he kisses her, it’s a few weeks after Tommy’s funeral. Even though Oliver is king of keeping everything bottled up, there’s a rare moment of grief and alcohol and Felicity is there and he leans in and she doesn’t stop him.

His lips are soft and he tastes like beer and forbidden things and Felicity realizes she doesn’t care. It’s over faster than she would have liked (because really, she’s been thinking about kissing him since the day he walked into her life with a charming smile and an unbelievable lie) but he can barely stand straight and she loops his arm over her shoulder and helps him to the couch to sleep off his inebriation.

He mumbles Tommy’s name and Laurel’s and the word sorry, she thinks, before dropping like a stone into sleep. She watches him for a few minutes and then returns to the computers and thinking about things she can never have.

ii.

When another week passes without incident or mention, Felicity realizes that he doesn’t remember. His behaviour towards her is normal, his face as inscrutable as ever. Felicity tries to convince herself that it’s better this way because, obviously, it’s _Oliver Queen_ and nothing good can come of it. But it hurts more than she cares to admit that while she dreams and hopes and wishes, Oliver can’t be bothered to even remember.

The kiss is emblazoned in her mind, she just has to close her eyes and she can feel the heat from his hand splayed on the small of her back, feel his stubble under her fingertips and taste him and breathe in his scent.

She thinks of reminding him, asking him _what the hell, Oliver_ , but wisely rethinks her decision. She doesn’t think she’d feel anything but misery if he couldn’t recall or worse, if he _apologized_.

He’s working out in the foundry behind her, shirtless, and she wonders if she’ll ever be able to be near him without feeling that liquid pull in her belly. She ignores him, tries to focus on her work and not the sounds of his grunts and growls and groans, all which do nothing to ease the tension between her legs.

Her crush on him is ridiculous, she chides herself. He will never return the feelings not when there is a lifetime of gorgeous women to compete with and precious, perfect Laurel to blind him to everyone else. She knows she sounds bitter, but hey it’s only in her head, so she isn’t hurting anyone.

Except, of course, herself. But then, that’s why they’re called crushes, she supposes.

“Felicity.”

She doesn’t know when he came to stand behind her and she jolts, turns around and stands up so quickly that she’s teetering and he grabs both her elbows to steady her.

“Jeez, creep up much?” she states a little more harshly than she intends but who can blame her, they’re standing close enough to kiss and he’s half naked and sweaty. Her pulse is scrambling and her heart is a runaway train in her chest. “Sorry, you startled me.”

He lets go of her and his arms fall to his side. He waits a beat, then, “I wanted to apologize.”

Ah, so he did remember. Felicity bites her lower lip to keep it from trembling and tries to adopt a confused expression. “What for?”

He gives her that look, tightens his jaw and narrows his eyes. “The other night. I was…not thinking straight. I didn’t mean to…make things awkward.”

_Like they are right now?_ she snarks in her head but gives him a dismissive smile. “Oliver, it’s already forgotten. I mean, what’s a drunken kiss between friends, right?”

As she laughs, in which she hopes is a careless manner, he gives a curt nod. “So we’re…okay?”

“We’re okay,” she echoes and before she can think about it, she reaches around him for a hug to show him how okay she is and he’s surprised. He grabs her hips awkwardly and she squeaks _, holy hell_ , she actually _squeaks_ , when she realizes what she’s done and that he’s shirtless and gloriously sweaty and she’s pulling away, mumbling, “Sorry! Sorry!”

She turns her head toward him just as he turns his towards her and their noses bump and his lips are on hers. Again.

It’s a shorter kiss than the first, the barest of pressure, a whisper of lips and breath, and she feels the tingles all the way down to the tips of her toes.

Her cheeks are on fire and she ducks her head, as they both back away from each other, as if electrocuted.

He turns and walks away.

She waits for the world to open up and swallow her whole.

iii.

They’re in Coast City following a lead when kiss number three happens.

Ever since The Undertaking, Oliver is extra paranoid and has them all travelling separately. And even in a city that isn’t theirs, he has them wearing baseball caps and sunglasses and it’s all very _Alias_ and Felicity has always wanted to be Sydney Bristow.

They’re at a club, very much the opposite of Verdant. It’s intimate; dimly lit corners and a small band playing soft music. 

Diggle is in the van outside running surveillance while Oliver and Felicity pose as a couple. When he first suggests the plan in the hotel room, Felicity has to bite her tongue to keep from protesting. She doesn’t think she can handle dressing up and playing the part of Oliver Queen’s date especially in wake of two extremely awkward kisses.

There is of course no choice for her, Oliver’s mind is made up and if she wants to appear as unaffected by him as he is by her than she needs to play this ruse like a pro.

So they sit at a small table in one corner of the club and in their ears Diggle is keeping them updated on the mission, on the things they can’t see but need to be aware of.

Oliver’s smiling at her over the candlelight and it breaks her heart when he reaches for her hand and she pretends to smile coyly at the attention.

Their fingers are linked together, his thumb tracing circles near her wrist and she feels the heat run up her arm and spread through her. She looks at him through lowered lashes, trying to see if he even realizes what he’s doing and sure enough, he’s scanning the club, his attention elsewhere.

Suddenly he drops her hand and stands up and comes to pull her chair out. As he does so, he leans in, his lips barely tracing the shell of her ear, causing her to shiver deliciously. “Dance with me.”

Felicity hardly has time to register what’s happening; she’s dragged onto the makeshift dance floor and enveloped in his arms before the word “no” forms on her lips. His arms band around her waist and she has no choice but to wind hers around his neck. Their bodies are touching intimately, the long hard lines of legs right up against hers and her words come out in a breathy, “What are we doing?”

He looks off to the far corner of the club, to the entrance, charming playboy smile in place, before turning his gaze to hers. When his eyes connect with hers, his expressions changes, as if it just occurred to him what they were doing, what position they were in. “Keeping up appearances,” he murmurs and her throat goes dry as his gaze falls on her lips and his eyes darken.

The song that’s playing in the background is soft and suggestive and Felicity thinks it’s a wonder that no one can hear her heart hammering away in her chest and her knees knocking together as her legs tremble in uncomfortable high heels.

Oliver is looking right at her and she controls the urge to look away. Instead, almost of their own accord, her fingers start to play with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. In response, his hands splay across her back and softly knead the flesh there, through the flimsy material of her too short dress. She’s on fire, the long liquid tugs in her stomach are back, full force. Her lips part ever so slightly and she hopes he doesn’t hear her soft sigh, but that’s ridiculous because he’s so, so close.

“You look nice tonight,” he says, his voice strange.

“This old thing?” she jokes lightly but he doesn’t smile, only keeps looking at her intently. She gives him a shy smile. “Thank you.”

His hands have moved up her back, bringing her closer, if that’s even possible, and her breasts press softly against his chest. She’s finding it hard to breathe and his lips are descending on hers and instead of moving away like any sane person would do, she lifts her chin and meets him halfway.

The kiss is deliberate, he’s completely aware of what he’s doing and oh he does it so well. His lips glide expertly, boldly, over hers, teeth lightly scraping across her bottom one, silently asking permission.  One hand has come up behind her neck, fisting her hair while the other is grasping at her hip.

Even though she can barely think with all the sensations swarming through her, she knows she should pull away. She has _every_ intention of pulling away. Her hand even comes between them to push him away, only to curl against his crisp white shirt when he changes the angle of his head and deepens the kiss. She moans throatily and Oliver pulls her closer, almost lifting her off the floor.

“Heads up, lovebirds,” Diggle says into their earpieces. “Moretti’s here.”

Felicity gasps as Oliver lets her go and they stand there for a fraction of a second, staring at each other, breathing heavily and completely turned on.

Oliver recovers first and heads back to the table, calling over his shoulder. “We’re up.”

“Yeah,” Felicity murmurs and traces her lips with her thumb before springing into action.

_To Be Continued…_


	2. iv & v

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine. Title from Ed Sheeran’s “Kiss Me”.  
> Pairing/Character: Oliver/Felicity  
> Rating: R.  
> Summary: Five times Oliver and Felicity kiss.  
> Spoilers: Set after Season One.  
> Author's Note: Thank you all for the kudos and feedback!

iv.

She’s halfway down the stairs to the foundry when she overhears Diggle and Oliver’s conversation amid the clack of the Eskrima sticks. Felicity stops in her tracks and trains her ears to catch Diggle’s reprimanding tone.

“I hate to be the one to always say this -”

“And yet.” Clack. “Somehow.” Clack. “You always are.” Clack.

“- but, Oliver, what the hell what were you thinking?”

“None of your business, Digg,” Oliver bites back, breathing heavily.

“Like hell it isn’t,” the other ma’s growl is followed by a resounding clack. “If I gotta listen to you make out with Felicity, I get a say. By the way, next time you two wanna play tonsil hockey, on the job, turn off the damn comm.”

Felicity’s cheeks are burning but she doesn’t make a move to end the conversation, instead, waits to hear what Oliver has to say. But it’s Diggle who continues, “Look, man, I know you’re going through hell. We’re all going through hell. But this, you and Felicity, it only ends one way.”

Felicity bites her lower lip and wills herself not to cry as Oliver responds, “I know.”

“Do you?” Diggle asks and the clacking has stopped so she thinks they’re taking a break. “Because that girl? She’s irreplaceable.”

Now, she really wants to kiss _him_. Again, Oliver bites out, “I know.”

Not wanting to be discussed further, Felicity reaches behind her to open and close the door loudly and makes a production of coming down the stairs and brightly calling out, “Hey guys! I think we got something.”

Both men expertly avoid looking right at her as she crosses to her computers and babbles a mile a minute. Taking her cue, they talk business until Diggle leaves to go pick up AJ as he had promised to Carly.

Alone with Oliver, Felicity pretends to be interested in something on her screen and tries not to notice the tension crackling in the air between them. _It only ends one way_ , she repeats Diggle’s words like a mantra in her head _. That way being very, very bad for me_.

“Felicity,” he says and he’s behind her again like when they kissed for the second time. She turns around slowly in her chair and looks up at him, thankful that he’s wearing a t-shirt. “We need to talk.”

She nods, pushes her glasses up her nose. “Digg’s right.”

Oilver’s eyes widen and he steps back as she stands. “You heard?”

She folds her arms under her breasts looks him in the eyes. “I heard. And Digg’s right. This,” she motions between them, “can’t happen. The work we do is too important. And this,” she makes the same gesture again, “is…not. Not important. Or happening.  Can’t. So it won’t. Happen, is what I’m saying. Is what you were going to say. Right?”

He waits a moment, opens his mouth to say something before closing it again. He gives her that unidentifiable look he always gives her and nods again. “Yes.”

She bites her lower lip again, searches his face. “Yes?”

_Say no_ , she yells at him in her head, foolishly. _Say no and say that Digg is wrong and to hell with the mission and say you choose me._

But his eyes are trained on hers as he replies, surely, “I agree.”

She takes a deep calming breath, counting backwards from five to make sure she doesn’t tear up and fearing she’ll fail and her lower lip will tremble, pulls it between her teeth.

And that’s when it happens.

Oliver’s gaze drop from her eyes to her mouth and then back up again. The desire she glimpses in his blue eyes in that brief second makes her mouth go dry. Involuntarily her tongue darts out to moisten her lips and a low groan escapes from Oliver’s mouth before he reaches out and pulls her flush against him.

Her arms come around his neck just as his lips touch hers and she forgets all reason and falls into the kiss. Oliver’s hands are everywhere; running up her back, grasping her hips, sliding into her hair to tug her head back so he can deepen the kiss. His tongue is insistent and demanding and Felicity responds with a few nips of her teeth. Every nerve ending is on fire, her blood leaps in her veins for more.

Then suddenly Oliver grabs her hips and hoists her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as they stumble back into the desk, never breaking the kiss. He sets her on the desk and that’s when they finally break apart, panting heavily, staring at each other with unadulterated lust.

And just as they’re going in for another kiss, Diggle’s voice breaks their trance.

“I almost made it halfway to Carly’s when I realized I left my ph- ” he trails off when he sees the scene in front of him and finishes, “-one. Damn.”

Oliver and Felicity break apart like guilty children, righting their clothing and hair. As soon as her feet hit the floor, Felicity pushes past Oliver, avoids looking Diggle in the eyes and makes a run for the door.

v.

As Felicity steps out of her bathtub, she reaches for her towel and dries herself off. Then she wraps the powder blue silk robe that her best friend got her for her birthday, her favorite one, and knots it at her waist as she steps out of the bathroom and into her bedroom.

She lets out a strangled yelp at the sight of Oliver,dressed in a crisp grey shirt and slacks, sitting on her bed. Her hand flies to her chest and she bites out, “Holy crap, Oliver!”

He tilts his head to the side, takes in her appearance and says, “Sorry.”

Trying to quell the thousands of questions she has about his presence and the meaning of everything, she stalks over to her dressing table so that her back is to him. “So what?  You don’t use doors anymore? Or did you pick my lock?”

“I used the window,” he confirms and she looks at him through her mirror to see him look down at his hands. “I wasn’t sure if you’d let me in if I knocked.”

She turns now and leans back against her dresser drawers. “I guess now we’ll never know.”

Oliver sighs, “Felicity.”

Not wanting to hear the words “we need to talk” or “I want to apologize” from him, she waves a hand in the air dismissively and steps closer. “How mad was Diggle?”

He scoffs as if it doesn’t matter and then winces a little, “ _Mad_.”

Despite the situation, a corner of her mouth quirks and she steps even closer so that now she’s standing in front of him. “I’ll bet. Just as he’d finished chastising you, you do exactly what he tells you not to.”

“Hmm,” Oliver nods, his eyes trained on the belt of her robe. She doesn’t dwell on it, even though she feels her entire body burn under his intense gaze. “To make matters worse, I ran into Laurel later.”

She doesn’t know how to respond to that immediately, so she swallows and nods as Oliver’s fingers start to play with the end of her silk robe tie. She clenches her fists at her sides and asks uselessly, “Did you now?”

He doesn’t look up at her, winds the belt around a finger, loosening it ever so slightly. “It’s the first time she’s sought me out after Tommy’s funeral.”

“Since you’re here, I’m guessing it didn’t go well,” she comments, bitterness creeping into her tone. He looks up at her now just as one hand curls around her hip. Through the thin material of her robe, she feels the heat from it go straight to her core. Judgment clouded, her own hand comes up and she runs her fingers through his hair. “What happened?”

“I blew her off,” he admits, his thumb tracing circles on her hipbone. “I wasn’t in the right…headspace to be having that conversation with her. Not after…”

“Getting caught making out with your IT girl by your bodyguard?” Felicity finishes for him, trying for humor to cover up all the other emotions swirling through her, the most prominent being pure desire for the man in front of her.

He frowns and his other hand comes up to her other side. He pulls her in closer so she’s between his legs, her knees pressing against her bedframe. “Something like that.”

Frustrated, Felicity takes her other hand places it on his shoulder and squeezes hard. “What does that mean, Oliver? And don’t you dare say I don’t know because you have to know.  You have to know something. Like why you kissed me the first time and why you keep kissing me even though we both know this is a bad idea.”

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea,” he says so softly she almost doesn’t hear him. “In fact, after everything that has happened, this,” he motions between the tiny gap between them like she had done earlier, “seems like the easiest thing in the world.”

She rolls her eyes and sits down beside him, “I’m gonna ignore that you just totally called me easy.” She silences him with a look when he opens his mouth to protest. “Dude, you’re sitting on my bed in the middle of the night trying to get lucky so don’t even go there.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

She smiles, rests her hand on his knee and turns her head to look at him. His eyes are dark and she can’t help it, she leans and presses her lips to his. The kiss is sweet, teasing and full of the things she can’t say to him.

“Oliver,” she breathes and pulls away. “Nothing about what I feel for you is easy.”

He closes his eyes, rests his forehead against hers and says her name, “ _Felicity_.”

They stay like that for a second, breathing each other in and Felicity feels herself fall headlong into love with him.

Because of that epiphany, she pulls away and puts some distance between them.  “But you’re not ready. For you, this would be a distraction. And maybe that’s what you need. But I won’t survive a fling, with you, unscathed.”

“It wouldn’t - ”

“Yes it would!” she protests and gets off the bed. “That headspace you’re in? Totally not ready for any relationship. For many reasons, off the top of my head, I could name like ten but mostly because of Laurel and Tommy and that fact that you moonlight as a vigilante and watched your best friend die saving your girlfriend and you totally killed his crazy-ass father…and oh my God! I didn’t want to say that out loud.”

She purses her lips and watches as he struggles to respond to her inappropriate word vomit. Finally, he stands up in front of her and says, “I really don’t know what to say.”

“Then you need to leave,” Felicity says determinedly. His eyes widen in surprise and she elaborates, “And come back when you do know what to say.”

He searches her face for a second and gives her a small nod. “Okay then.”

“And you can use the door this time,” she says hitching her head in the direction of her bedroom door. “The window thing is kinda creepy.”

He chuckles and brushes past her to head towards the door. He turns back and hesitates before saying, “What I feel for you…it’s taken me by surprise. But I would never hurt you.”

She nods at that, hope blooming in her chest at his words and he turns again to leave. She calls out, “Oliver?”

He turns slowly again, one hand on her doorframe, “Hmm?”

“I can’t wait forever,” she says softly and then more assuredly, adds, “I won’t.”

He watches her for an intense second and then he’s gone. Felicity lowers herself onto the bed, knees trembling and really hopes she’ll get to kiss him again.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sequel coming soon!


End file.
